I never thought a Lifetime movie would ever generate a blog post...
Today my roommate, friend, and I all watched
The Pregnancy Pact. Talk about wild. That movie deals with a lot of serious issues. Every commercial we would press pause and discuss topics like abortion, contraceptive, parent involvement, media boundaries, adolescent desires--you name it, we talked about it. It was a pretty intense movie. However, the scene that really got to me was at the very end of the movie, and it lasted about 5 seconds. You see one of the pregnant teens sitting in the school courtyard, and the father of her child walks up from behind. Only, he passes her by. He is actually walking to meet his new girlfriend who is sitting on an adjacent bench. That scene was heart wrenching. It was the most painful part of the entire movie.
After that scene I just wanted to curl into a ball and cry. I remember being 15 thinking I was going to marry my high school boyfriend. I remember the feeling I got in my stomach every time I heard something about him and his new girlfriend. I remember coming across old photos of us and being reminded that there was a time when he loved me, too. I remember everything.
But this post isn't just about me because everyone has a story.
Last night I was at work, and I ended up having two deep conversations with two different customers. One was a 55 year old man. He comes in with his family for dinner quite often, but this time he was alone. After I served him his dinner he began telling me about his life and family. His two oldest children received full scholarships to college, and in an effort to help his youngest achieve his dream of playing college baseball, transferred from a private to public high school his senior year. And apparently, that took quite a toll on them both. Not everyone understood their decision, and as a result they both lost a lot of friends. People they thought they could count on ended up letting them down. So, as a 55 year old man and a 18 year old senior in high school, they are both having to start over. You don't think of having to pick up and start new at either time in life. However, his son was voted team captain, and the new school has welcomed him and his family with open arms. It hasn't turned out so bad after all.
Another was a woman who I guess was in her mid to late 50's as well. She made a to-go order, and waited at the bar until it was ready. While she waited she began asking me about school and what I wanted to do after graduation. I told her that my major is Print Journalism, and that I have a lot of things on my bucket list. I began telling her how I wanted to be a youth pastor, how I would love to be a writer, how I might even like to be a professor one day. Then she began telling me about her life. She was a stay at home mom for 20 years until her husband passed away, leaving her without a spouse, her children without a father, and their family without a source of income. During a time when her and her husband should be sending their children off to college and happily preparing themselves for life with just the two of them, she is having to find a way to make ends meet alone. So, she goes back to school. It must have been scary to enter a classroom again so much later in life, but she did. And she graduated. She is now working in the art department at JSU, and loving it!
My heartbreak and rebuilding is so much a part of my life and my story. It has played a major role in shaping who I am, for better and for worse. There are times when it seems like I will never again endure anything that will impact me so much. Sometimes I feel like no one else has had such a life changing experience as mine, and it is in those moments that I am convicted of my own self-centeredness. All too often I buy in to my own personal fable, but at that time I have to take a step back from myself and consider the countless others who have something powerful to say. The two people I met last night proved that to me.
We were created so that with God, nothing is too big to overcome. Life can seems like a war that is impossible to win, but it isn't. Our hearts get hurt, we lose friends and loved ones, and sometimes we have to pick up the pieces of something that shouldn't even be broken in the first place. But what I've learned is that pain is ok. More times than not it's good. Life can be hard, confusing, and hurtful, but, as believers, we have already won!
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world." -John 16:33
