"He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath
The weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these
Afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize how beautiful you are
And how great your afflictions for me
Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so
Yea He loves us
Oh how
We are his portion
And he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meats earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart burns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us
Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so
Yea He loves us
Oh how
I thought about you
The day Stephen died
And you met me between my breaking
I know that I still love you God
Despite the agony
See people they want to tell me your cruel
But if Stephen could sing
He'd say its not true
Cause you're good"
This is such a beautiful song originally written and performed by John Mark McMillan after his best friend, Stephen, died in a tragic car accident. This song has such raw emotion and truth in it. I am swept off my feet every time I hear it, especially when I consider the things he was going through when he wrote it. Since the song's release in September of 2008, it has been re-made by several artists including David Crowder* Band and The Glorious Unseen. I was first introduced to How He Loves during DNOW back in April. It is definitely the song I associate with that incredible weekend. Since then it has kept finding its way back into my life, and tonight was one of those nights.
At DNOW, the speaker was sharing with us when he was diagnosed with cancer. It was right before a family vacation to the beach. He didn't want the cancer to prevent him from living his life, so they packed up the car and headed to the beach anyway. While he was there, he walked down to the ocean to spend some time with God. As he was trying to make sense of what the doctor just told him, he was pleading with the Lord, "Please take this cancer from me!" But, he heard a quiet whisper in his heart asking, What if I don't? He continued to reason, "God, you blessed me with such a great life. I have a wonderful wife and two beautiful children. You have to heal me!" But again, he heard, What if I don't? He begged, "Please, let me walk my daughter down the aisle at her wedding! Let me see my son graduate high school! Please let me grow old with my wife! Lord, please heal me!" Yet, God's soft voice kept asking, But what if I don't?
He had such a hard time dealing with the question God kept asking him. What if God didn't heal him? What if it was his time to leave this earth? What if he didn't get to be there for his family much longer? He stayed on that beach for a long time bartering with God, but he kept hearing, What if I don't heal you? What then? It was on that beach, a newly diagnosed cancer patient with a long road of treatment ahead of him, that he realized this: Even if God doesn't heal me, even if I am called to endure and maybe even miss out on certain things in this earthly life, even if my prayer isn't answered the way I want it to be, He is still worthy of my praise. He is still almighty, holy, precious, and good.
The lyrics to How He Loves and the speaker's testimony that weekend will stay with me forever. No matter what, God is good, and he loves us so very much.
"Fig trees may not grow figs, and there may be no grapes on the vines. There may be no olives growing and no food growing in the fields. There may be no sheep in the pens and no cattle in the barns. But I will still be glad in the Lord; I will rejoice in God my Savior." -Habakkuk 3:17-18
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
One Great Love
My favorite hymn in the whole world is "O, For A Thousand Tongues To Sing", David Crowder is my favorite music artist, and when those two are combined it just couldn't get any better. DCB could just re-make hymns and I wouldn't be mad about it. Here are the lyrics to David Crowder's arrangement and a link to listen to it on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWekq9bHtKU
O, for a thousand tongues to sing
My great Redeemer’s praise
The glories of my God and King
The triumphs of His grace!
My gracious Master and my God
Assist me to proclaim
To spread through all the earth abroad
The honors of Thy name.
So come on and sing out
Let our anthem grow loud
There is one great love: Jesus.
Jesus, the name that charms our fears
That bids our sorrows cease
‘Tis music in the sinner’s ears
‘Tis life and health and peace.
He breaks the power of cancelled sin
He sets the prisoners free
His blood can make the foulest clean
His blood availed for me!
He speaks and listening to His voice
New life the dead receive
The mournful broken hearts rejoice
The humble poor believe.
Glory to God and praise and love
Be ever, ever giv’n
By saints below and saints above
The church in earth and Heav’n.
So come on and sing out
Let our anthem grow loud
There is one great love: Jesus.
There are so few words
That never grow old...
There are so few words
That never grow old...
Jesus.
Today was the first day of the fall semester. It was a great day, and as I was driving home from my English class I was looking around at all the students walking into the building. It was so crowded! Most of the students appeared to be freshman, so I started having flashbacks of my freshman year. What a growing year that was. I got so lost, and it makes me wonder how the freshman years will go of the students I saw walking into the Stone Center today. There are so many things to get wrapped up in during college. Relationships, Greek life, sports, drinking, partying, class, work, you name it and it's a temptation that can draw us away from the Lord.
High school was a breeze. I had my close friends, and none of us drank or really even knew anyone who did, so drinking and partying was never an issue. I didn't have to have a job. I had a serious boyfriend, so I wasn't obsessed with dating. School has always been easy for me, and I have a great relationship with my parents, so my biggest worry for four years was remembering to do my homework assignment and occasionally picking up my room. I got so caught up in all the new things college introduced me to. I started fitting God into my life instead of building my life around Him. As I was driving toward 410 with DCB playing in the background I heard in the chorus, There is one great love: Jesus. It didn't say, There is one great love: Jesus, and going to class and maybe partying a little on the side. It says Jesus, period.
He is the only One worth living for and getting wrapped up in. Freshman year was such a hard time in my life, wrought with such pain and sorrow. But, the Lord was faithful and delivered me, and now I am thankful to Him for showing me, yet again, that there is one great love: Jesus.
"Anyone who trusts in Him will never be disappointed." -Romans 10:11
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWekq9bHtKU
O, for a thousand tongues to sing
My great Redeemer’s praise
The glories of my God and King
The triumphs of His grace!
My gracious Master and my God
Assist me to proclaim
To spread through all the earth abroad
The honors of Thy name.
So come on and sing out
Let our anthem grow loud
There is one great love: Jesus.
Jesus, the name that charms our fears
That bids our sorrows cease
‘Tis music in the sinner’s ears
‘Tis life and health and peace.
He breaks the power of cancelled sin
He sets the prisoners free
His blood can make the foulest clean
His blood availed for me!
He speaks and listening to His voice
New life the dead receive
The mournful broken hearts rejoice
The humble poor believe.
Glory to God and praise and love
Be ever, ever giv’n
By saints below and saints above
The church in earth and Heav’n.
So come on and sing out
Let our anthem grow loud
There is one great love: Jesus.
There are so few words
That never grow old...
There are so few words
That never grow old...
Jesus.
Today was the first day of the fall semester. It was a great day, and as I was driving home from my English class I was looking around at all the students walking into the building. It was so crowded! Most of the students appeared to be freshman, so I started having flashbacks of my freshman year. What a growing year that was. I got so lost, and it makes me wonder how the freshman years will go of the students I saw walking into the Stone Center today. There are so many things to get wrapped up in during college. Relationships, Greek life, sports, drinking, partying, class, work, you name it and it's a temptation that can draw us away from the Lord.
High school was a breeze. I had my close friends, and none of us drank or really even knew anyone who did, so drinking and partying was never an issue. I didn't have to have a job. I had a serious boyfriend, so I wasn't obsessed with dating. School has always been easy for me, and I have a great relationship with my parents, so my biggest worry for four years was remembering to do my homework assignment and occasionally picking up my room. I got so caught up in all the new things college introduced me to. I started fitting God into my life instead of building my life around Him. As I was driving toward 410 with DCB playing in the background I heard in the chorus, There is one great love: Jesus. It didn't say, There is one great love: Jesus, and going to class and maybe partying a little on the side. It says Jesus, period.
He is the only One worth living for and getting wrapped up in. Freshman year was such a hard time in my life, wrought with such pain and sorrow. But, the Lord was faithful and delivered me, and now I am thankful to Him for showing me, yet again, that there is one great love: Jesus.
"Anyone who trusts in Him will never be disappointed." -Romans 10:11
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
A Reflection of the Weekend
I got to go home this weekend for the first time since I moved to Jacksonville. I forget how much I love Georgia and my hometown until I go back. I have such great memories from there. I love everything about that place. Not to mention I got to spend time with my family. My brother just started high school two weeks ago, so it was fun hearing him tell me about it. He goes to Mill Creek, like I did, and loves it so far! High school was the best time of my life, and I really hope he has as great an experience as I did. He is such a good brother, and makes his big sissy very, very proud :). I have great parents, too. I am so thankful for them and for everything they do for my brother and me. We always have so much fun whenever we're together. A weekend isn't long enough because I never feel like I get enough time with them.
While I was home for the weekend JSU was hosting Sorority Recruitment. I was in a sorority for 2 years, but just quit this summer. The organization I was in ROCKED IT OUT! They got their bid list, had awesome returns, and ended up with what seems is going to be a really awesome pledge class, and I am so excited for them. I do not regret the decision to quit because it really was the best choice for me, but I can't help but get a little nostalgic for my bid day and the exciting experience of joining a sorority. For the past two years I found a lot of my identity in being in a sorority, and it is also where I found a lot of my worth. Sororities are not bad in and of themselves, and for the most part I would say my experience was fairly positive, but I made it my lifestyle. I ate, breathed, and slept my organization, and as a result neglected the relationship I had with my Father. It took me a while to realize that I was serving my sorority the way I should have been serving my Lord. That is really embarrassing to admit. I needed to forgo membership in my sorority in order to reclaim the relationship I knew I should have been fostering with my God. Disclaimer: In no way am I saying everyone in a sorority has abandoned their relationship with God and should quit, but in my specific case it was what I knew I needed to do.
I learned a lot about people by being Greek, but I learned even more about my Savior and the importance of maintaining a thriving relationship with Him. Now I find my identity in Him, and He is showing me day by day the infinite worth I have in His eyes.
"I eagerly give up all my prized possessions, I unhesitatingly forgo the pleasure of my most intimate friendships, and, without reservation, I void all my greatest achievements for the amazing and priceless opportunity to intimately know, love, and serve my precious Redeemer, Jesus Christ." -Philippians 3:8
While I was home for the weekend JSU was hosting Sorority Recruitment. I was in a sorority for 2 years, but just quit this summer. The organization I was in ROCKED IT OUT! They got their bid list, had awesome returns, and ended up with what seems is going to be a really awesome pledge class, and I am so excited for them. I do not regret the decision to quit because it really was the best choice for me, but I can't help but get a little nostalgic for my bid day and the exciting experience of joining a sorority. For the past two years I found a lot of my identity in being in a sorority, and it is also where I found a lot of my worth. Sororities are not bad in and of themselves, and for the most part I would say my experience was fairly positive, but I made it my lifestyle. I ate, breathed, and slept my organization, and as a result neglected the relationship I had with my Father. It took me a while to realize that I was serving my sorority the way I should have been serving my Lord. That is really embarrassing to admit. I needed to forgo membership in my sorority in order to reclaim the relationship I knew I should have been fostering with my God. Disclaimer: In no way am I saying everyone in a sorority has abandoned their relationship with God and should quit, but in my specific case it was what I knew I needed to do.
I learned a lot about people by being Greek, but I learned even more about my Savior and the importance of maintaining a thriving relationship with Him. Now I find my identity in Him, and He is showing me day by day the infinite worth I have in His eyes.
"I eagerly give up all my prized possessions, I unhesitatingly forgo the pleasure of my most intimate friendships, and, without reservation, I void all my greatest achievements for the amazing and priceless opportunity to intimately know, love, and serve my precious Redeemer, Jesus Christ." -Philippians 3:8
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
iPod
After work tonight I was in the car listening to my iPod. Chris Tomlin came on singing "Everlasting God". In the chorus he echos words and phrases, but before tonight they had never struck a chord in me until I heard him sing softly in the background, "There's no end to your power". That simple truth hit me all at once. There's no end to your power. It is something I have known, but hearing it in that song tonight made me really consider what that truth looks like in my life.
My family is still in need of prayer. We are still going through a difficult time that only God can deliver us from. We have spent a lot of time worrying about it and wondering what might become of us, but that won't make it go away. Anticipating the worst isn't going to deliver us. Doubting that we can be saved won't save us. But God will.
Van Wilder once said, " Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere." An interesting person to gain wisdom from, but there is truth in it. Worrying about the future won't make your present concerns any less daunting. Dwelling over problems won't change the fact that they're there and they're real. The Lord is faithful and promises that if we ask for anything in His name and believe He will do it, we will have it (Mark 11:24). There is no limit to God's ability to deliver us, and I believe that no matter the outcome we will be taken care of and He will be glorified.
Please continue to pray for my family as we hope in the Lord and believe that there is no end to His power.
"Then you will call, and the Lord will answer. You will cry for help, and he will say, 'Here I am!'" -Isaiah 58:9
My family is still in need of prayer. We are still going through a difficult time that only God can deliver us from. We have spent a lot of time worrying about it and wondering what might become of us, but that won't make it go away. Anticipating the worst isn't going to deliver us. Doubting that we can be saved won't save us. But God will.
Van Wilder once said, " Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere." An interesting person to gain wisdom from, but there is truth in it. Worrying about the future won't make your present concerns any less daunting. Dwelling over problems won't change the fact that they're there and they're real. The Lord is faithful and promises that if we ask for anything in His name and believe He will do it, we will have it (Mark 11:24). There is no limit to God's ability to deliver us, and I believe that no matter the outcome we will be taken care of and He will be glorified.
Please continue to pray for my family as we hope in the Lord and believe that there is no end to His power.
"Then you will call, and the Lord will answer. You will cry for help, and he will say, 'Here I am!'" -Isaiah 58:9
Friday, August 14, 2009
5:19
I'd be lying through my teeth if I told you
That I'm ok
July came, I thought I had it all together
Until you said
"I need some space"
Truth be told
It's so hard to wait
One eye on the clock
And one on the phone
It's 5:19....
I'm feeling alone
If I could talk to you
I'd want you to know
I'm holding loose
But ain't letting go.
We both know that I could think myself dizzy
Right now I'm spinning around
You said, "baby, don't worry"
But I just miss you right now
I said, I miss you right now
One eye on the clock
And one on the phone
It's 5:19....
I'm feeling alone
If I could talk to you
I'd want you to know
I'm holding loose
But ain't letting go.
This is a really good song that I came across today. Just thought I'd share.
Please continue to pray for my family. God is at work in this situation, and He is already doing great things. Please pray that no matter the outcome, He will be glorified.
"If you ask me for anything in my name, I will do it." -John 14:14
That I'm ok
July came, I thought I had it all together
Until you said
"I need some space"
Truth be told
It's so hard to wait
One eye on the clock
And one on the phone
It's 5:19....
I'm feeling alone
If I could talk to you
I'd want you to know
I'm holding loose
But ain't letting go.
We both know that I could think myself dizzy
Right now I'm spinning around
You said, "baby, don't worry"
But I just miss you right now
I said, I miss you right now
One eye on the clock
And one on the phone
It's 5:19....
I'm feeling alone
If I could talk to you
I'd want you to know
I'm holding loose
But ain't letting go.
This is a really good song that I came across today. Just thought I'd share.
Please continue to pray for my family. God is at work in this situation, and He is already doing great things. Please pray that no matter the outcome, He will be glorified.
"If you ask me for anything in my name, I will do it." -John 14:14
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Provision and Deliverance
I don't even know how to begin this post. I have so much going on in my mind and in my life. I can start by asking for prayer. I don't want to be specific since this is the internet and all, but please pray for my family and me. Everyone is ok, we just really need prayer right now.
With the current situation always on the ever present back burner of my mind I have come into some really exciting things. An ambassador friend informed me that she is looking into starting YoungLife at JSU and asked me if I would like to help get things going. Of course I said yes. YoungLife has enriched my walk more than I could say not only as a youth but now as a young adult. I kind of fell away from it for a season, but since last summer I have been back on the YL track and more ready than ever to dive in head first.
Also, Jen and I had dinner with the girl's youth and leaders for YL in Gadsden. It was such a fun night! Watching as the girls fellow shipped reminded me how much I love YL and how awesome youth groups are. Every time I am given the opportunity to hang out with youth it only nails down the calling God has put in my heart: youth ministry. Primarily middle school youth, but after hanging out with high school girls tonight, I remembered how much fun they can be, too.
With all the YL excitement that has been placed in my future, I am still about to sleep with a burdened heart. I will continue to pray for my family and for deliverance, but at the same time I am thankful to the Lord for all the wonderful works He is doing in my life. I just pray that whatever the outcome may be He will be glorified.
"Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you." -1 Peter 5:7
With the current situation always on the ever present back burner of my mind I have come into some really exciting things. An ambassador friend informed me that she is looking into starting YoungLife at JSU and asked me if I would like to help get things going. Of course I said yes. YoungLife has enriched my walk more than I could say not only as a youth but now as a young adult. I kind of fell away from it for a season, but since last summer I have been back on the YL track and more ready than ever to dive in head first.
Also, Jen and I had dinner with the girl's youth and leaders for YL in Gadsden. It was such a fun night! Watching as the girls fellow shipped reminded me how much I love YL and how awesome youth groups are. Every time I am given the opportunity to hang out with youth it only nails down the calling God has put in my heart: youth ministry. Primarily middle school youth, but after hanging out with high school girls tonight, I remembered how much fun they can be, too.
With all the YL excitement that has been placed in my future, I am still about to sleep with a burdened heart. I will continue to pray for my family and for deliverance, but at the same time I am thankful to the Lord for all the wonderful works He is doing in my life. I just pray that whatever the outcome may be He will be glorified.
"Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you." -1 Peter 5:7
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Kidnapping
I was kidnapped tonight, but in no way was it a bad experience.
I got home from work later than expected. The restaurant I work at closes at 10, but the last table didn't leave until around 10:30, so after finishing all my closing duties I headed home around 11. I arrived to be greeted by my sweet roommate, Jen, and we began telling each other about our day. A few minutes into our conversation we heard someone at the door. Thinking it was Erin, our other roommate, we continued our conversation. Then we heard voices. It was definitely not Erin. All of a sudden Ashley and Ashley come busting in the house. "Get in the car, we're going to the mountain to watch the meteor shower!" With little time to disagree we hopped in the car and made our way to the top of the mountain in town. When we made it up we discovered we are not the only people around who enjoy stargazing. There are two other cars waiting to watch some shooting stars. The four of us climb onto the VW Jetta (two on the hood and two on the roof) and wait for the show. All of a sudden, WOOSH! We see our first meteor. It was beautiful! But that wasn't even the best part of the night.
As we sit waiting for more stars to fly across the midnight sky, three girls approach the car. We begin talking, and living in a small town like we do, discover we have mutual friends. We continue talking and the next thing you know an hour has gone by. Meanwhile, another car has pulled up and its passengers approach the car and we begin a conversation with them, too! It was a father and his children. He told us that he lives at the bottom of the mountain and he could hear us screaming and laughing all the way at his house! We were all having such an awesome time enjoying each others company and enjoying the beauty of the great outdoors.
As I sit here I am in the midst of appreciating an answered prayer in the works. The prayer was for community. This past semester me and my roommates, Jen and AC, became close friends with 3 guys- Kane, Tyler, and Branden. And let me tell you, the Lord was in those friendships. Those girls and guys were an answer to a serious prayer of mine. But, college isn't forever, and Kane and Branden graduated in May. Not only did they graduate, but one moved to Texas and the other Colorado. Of course I am still friends with those guys, but now that they have moved we obviously don't get to spend the amount of time together that we used to. It was hard to experience such awesome community for such a short time, but once again God demonstrated His faithfulness to me. I had been praying for what I've been calling "Girl Community" since I found out the guys were moving away. It has been on my heart since the beginning of the summer. As I was sitting on the hood of Ashley's car surrounded by five awesome girls it dawned on me: This is what I've been praying for.
God has proven His goodness and faithfulness in my life time and time again. I am so excited to watch as these friendships grow in the Lord. Already He has begun answering my prayer and the semester hasn't even started yet. :)
"...when a believing person prays, great things happen." -James 5:16
I got home from work later than expected. The restaurant I work at closes at 10, but the last table didn't leave until around 10:30, so after finishing all my closing duties I headed home around 11. I arrived to be greeted by my sweet roommate, Jen, and we began telling each other about our day. A few minutes into our conversation we heard someone at the door. Thinking it was Erin, our other roommate, we continued our conversation. Then we heard voices. It was definitely not Erin. All of a sudden Ashley and Ashley come busting in the house. "Get in the car, we're going to the mountain to watch the meteor shower!" With little time to disagree we hopped in the car and made our way to the top of the mountain in town. When we made it up we discovered we are not the only people around who enjoy stargazing. There are two other cars waiting to watch some shooting stars. The four of us climb onto the VW Jetta (two on the hood and two on the roof) and wait for the show. All of a sudden, WOOSH! We see our first meteor. It was beautiful! But that wasn't even the best part of the night.
As we sit waiting for more stars to fly across the midnight sky, three girls approach the car. We begin talking, and living in a small town like we do, discover we have mutual friends. We continue talking and the next thing you know an hour has gone by. Meanwhile, another car has pulled up and its passengers approach the car and we begin a conversation with them, too! It was a father and his children. He told us that he lives at the bottom of the mountain and he could hear us screaming and laughing all the way at his house! We were all having such an awesome time enjoying each others company and enjoying the beauty of the great outdoors.
As I sit here I am in the midst of appreciating an answered prayer in the works. The prayer was for community. This past semester me and my roommates, Jen and AC, became close friends with 3 guys- Kane, Tyler, and Branden. And let me tell you, the Lord was in those friendships. Those girls and guys were an answer to a serious prayer of mine. But, college isn't forever, and Kane and Branden graduated in May. Not only did they graduate, but one moved to Texas and the other Colorado. Of course I am still friends with those guys, but now that they have moved we obviously don't get to spend the amount of time together that we used to. It was hard to experience such awesome community for such a short time, but once again God demonstrated His faithfulness to me. I had been praying for what I've been calling "Girl Community" since I found out the guys were moving away. It has been on my heart since the beginning of the summer. As I was sitting on the hood of Ashley's car surrounded by five awesome girls it dawned on me: This is what I've been praying for.
God has proven His goodness and faithfulness in my life time and time again. I am so excited to watch as these friendships grow in the Lord. Already He has begun answering my prayer and the semester hasn't even started yet. :)
"...when a believing person prays, great things happen." -James 5:16
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