Made For You by Matt Gilman

http://www.myspace.com/mattgilmanmusic (click on "Made for You")

I will abide in You; oh come abide in me
For without You I can do nothing
For without You I can do nothing

Chorus:

To walk in the cool of the day with You
To gaze on the beauty of all You do
To meditate on Your glorious splendor
I was made for You

Verse 2:

On You I meditate and pray both night and day
Oh Lord, that I would be with You where You are
Oh Lord, that I would be with You where You are

Bridge:

To be called a lover of God
To speak face to face, to know all Your thoughts
To abide in Your love, in Your love in me
To keep Your commands, that I may be filled with joy

This is such a beautiful song. I hope you will take time to consider what these lyrics are telling you about your purpose. This is why we were created: To simply abide in Him. To walk with Him daily. To appreciate all He has done. To be amazed at who He is.

When we look at the simplicity of the life God has created us to lead it makes all of our outside stresses seem so unimportant. This song makes me feel so content and blessed to be created especially for God. Lord, I was made for you. :)

"If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord." -Romans 14:8

Humility vs. Pride and Some Thoughts on Responsibility

I just need a listening ear...

I got in a car accident two Thursdays ago, and have been without a car ever since. However, life goes on. I know I am a busy person, but it dawned on me last week just how busy I am. I work, go to school, am a member of campus groups, and attend younglife. While my sweet roommates were so gracious in allowing me to borrow their cars when they weren't using them, we all lead busy lives and have things to do, and it is not their responsibility to tote me around. Sometimes I feel guilty when asking for help, like I'm being a burden, and other times it simply comes down to my selfish pride. I often take myself and my agenda too seriously, and get annoyed when I cannot do things when I want. I am the queen of making a mountain out of a mole hill. Last week was very trying. Just because I didn't have a car didn't excuse me from my commitments, but I had to miss some and now I have to face the consequences. That is a hard pill to swallow because I feel like I'm being held accountable for something I had no control over. My pride causes frustration, but I am called to rise above that. Here is a bit of insight to my prideful nature:

I like to be independent and do the things I need and want to do when I need and want to do them, and I don't like being at the mercy of others in trying to accomplish tasks. I don't like asking for rides, I don't like asking for help, heck... I don't even like working in groups on school assignments. I want to do things my way on my time. But here is the truth, when I set my pride aside I remember: it is not about me. I have to be more understanding in that there are consequences for everything that happens in life whether those things are self-inflicted or by cause of someone else. In life, we must always be willing to roll with the punches and be big enough to lay our pride down and accept responsibility when we are called to. When life gets hectic, we are faced with obstacles, and we sometimes have to accept responsibility for situations we don't want to take the blame for we must remember to be ever humble, courageous, and live in love because we serve a mighty and faithful God. Oh, how He loves us!

"But he's already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what God is looking for in men and women.
It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don't take yourself too seriously—
take God seriously." -Micah 6:8

Symbolism

My friend, Kane, introduced me to a new artist named Coffey Anderson. He is absolutely incredible. His music is so soulful and rich! He sings awesome love songs, and even better gospel music. That is right up my alley considering all my friends jokingly tell me that I should have been born black. :) Check him out, you might love him as much as I do.

It is finally feeling like autumn here in Jacksonville. Fall is my FAVORITE season by a long shot. I love everything about it. The crispness in the air, the excitement of college football, the anticipation of upcoming holidays, having cool weather to spend in the outdoors and, most importantly, the leaves changing colors. The colors of the leaves when they change is so beautiful to me, especially in Jacksonville. There are trees everywhere here, and being in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains isn't bad either because when I look outside I see endless mountains and trees. It is absolutely gorgeous. That being said, I think the actual reason I love fall so much is because of the symbolism it has in my life. Leave it to an English major to write a blog entirely about symbolism, but if the shoe fits...

My high school youth pastor unknowingly changed the way I will experience fall forever. Before we were dismissed from the service he always said a prayer for the upcoming week. In his prayer he said something that absolutely stopped me in my tracks. He thanked God that He created the leaves to change colors for the sole purpose of our enjoyment. I could not believe what I just heard. As I was riding in the backseat of my friend's car on my way home I looked out the window at all the trees and their leaves. They were beautiful, but I had never stopped to realize why. In school I was taught all about photosynthesis and plant processes. I knew the science behind the phenomenon of autumn leaves, but I never stopped to give credit to the Creator. When I thought more about it, I realized that God didn't have to make the process beautiful. He could have made photosynthesis boring and blah, but he didn't. He made the process pleasing to us because He loves us and wants us to enjoy this place He created for us. What a sweet Lord we have to make even the smallest detail of his creation beautiful simply out of love for us. When I see the leaves I am always reminded of God's deep love for His people and His precious lovingkindness. Everything in this life that I enjoy comes from God. Even something as simple as the leaves changing colors.

"God looked at everything He made, and it was good. So very good!" -Genesis 1:31

Gathering

Last Friday Jen, Anna Catherine, Erin, Ashley, and I left for the lake. Anna Catherine's family has a lake house on Lake Weiss in Centre, AL and was gracious enough to let us stay there for the weekend. We had the best time! Our first night we watched movies, went out to eat, and just spent time together laughing and enjoying ourselves. Erin had to work in the morning, so she left early the next day and headed to Jefferson's. The rest of us got up and went to the ultimate in breakfast cuisine: Waffle House. The rest of the day was spend inside due to rain, but none of us were disappointed. It was such a cozy day that allowed us to fellowship and wind down from the previous week of school. Christina came later that night, and after playing a few rounds of dominoes and other fun games I didn't think the weekend could get any better. Then Sunday came, and it was one of the most memorable days of my life.

Sunday, September 20, was my 21st birthday. When I woke up my sweet friends had made yummy blueberry muffins, put a candle in mine, and sang me happy birthday. I felt so special! It was such a great way to start the day. After breakfast we got dressed and headed to Little Rock City to have church on the mountain. Lake Weiss is located near the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains, so there are a few mountain ranges that people will come and explore. When we got there, we walked up to a series of boulders and climbed them to the top where we found a clearing overlooking the lake and surrounding area. There is no telling how high up we were, but it felt like we were on top of the world. Right there, on top of the world, we started our church service. No rules. No rituals. No denomination. Just five women seeking after the Lord, and guess what? He showed up. :)

Anna Catherine brought her iPod dock, and we spent some time in worship. "How Deep the Father's Love For Us" by Sarah Sadler came on, and it was one of the most incredible moments in my life. To listen to her sing, "How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure" while looking out on His vast creation knowing he loves me even beyond all that is in front of me still humbles and amazes me. After singing a few more songs, we got to spend some time in the Word. Ashley lead us to an account in the book of John (v. 15-19). We got to share our hearts with each other and spend some great time in prayer. Then, we shared the most beautiful thing I have ever had the privilege to be a part of. Five college women got to lead each other in communion on top of the mountain that day. I have no words for the infinite meaning that communion holds in my life. The whole experience of having church on the mountain is something I am so thankful to have been a part of. It was the best birthday I have ever had, and I am so glad to have spent it with such sweet friends and an even sweeter Lord.

"When two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there." -Matthew 18:20

September So Far

What a great start to September.

Last weekend I go to go home and spend some time with the family. When I go back to Gwinnett I normally spend a majority of the weekend with my mom, but this time I got to spend a lot of quality time with my dad and brother. We got to go to the Georgia Tech vs. JSU football game, and our tickets were in the front row! College football and a trip to Atlanta equals an awesome Saturday in my book! I was so glad to get to share that day with my dad and little bro. I loved spending the day with them, and we had a really good time.

This weekend Jen, Eric, and I got to go down to Talahassee to see the Florida State vs. JSU football game. It was a 6 hour drive, but it was worth it. Not only did we get to go to the game and spend part of the weekend in Florida, but we got to sit in Bobby Bowden's family box! It was so cool! JSU really played a great game. We were up 9-7 all the way until the fourth quarter with only 1:31 left on the clock when FSU scored two touchdowns back to back. It was a heart breaker, but it was such an exciting game. My friend, Robert, who I met the summer I lived in Winter Haven, went to FSU, so we met up and stayed with him at his brother's house. I was so glad to be able to see him and catch up. What a sweet friend!

With the semester back in full swing, I am already busier than I have ever been. Juggling school, work, Ambassadors, Student Senate, and YoungLife is challenging, but I am excited for everything that is coming my way. There are a lot of things to get caught up in, but through all of it I want to be mindful of who I am serving and searching for Him in all I do. What an adventure He has planned for me!

"I am always doing something new within my beloved ones. Be on the lookout for all I have prepared for you." -Isaiah 43:19

A Thought

"Many of the most significant moments in our lives come not because it all went right but because it all fell apart." -Rob Bell: Drops Like Stars

Oh, How He Loves Us

"He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath
The weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these
Afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize how beautiful you are
And how great your afflictions for me

Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so

Yea He loves us
Oh how

We are his portion
And he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meats earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart burns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us

Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so

Yea He loves us
Oh how

I thought about you
The day Stephen died
And you met me between my breaking
I know that I still love you God
Despite the agony
See people they want to tell me your cruel
But if Stephen could sing
He'd say its not true
Cause you're good"

This is such a beautiful song originally written and performed by John Mark McMillan after his best friend, Stephen, died in a tragic car accident. This song has such raw emotion and truth in it. I am swept off my feet every time I hear it, especially when I consider the things he was going through when he wrote it. Since the song's release in September of 2008, it has been re-made by several artists including David Crowder* Band and The Glorious Unseen. I was first introduced to How He Loves during DNOW back in April. It is definitely the song I associate with that incredible weekend. Since then it has kept finding its way back into my life, and tonight was one of those nights.

At DNOW, the speaker was sharing with us when he was diagnosed with cancer. It was right before a family vacation to the beach. He didn't want the cancer to prevent him from living his life, so they packed up the car and headed to the beach anyway. While he was there, he walked down to the ocean to spend some time with God. As he was trying to make sense of what the doctor just told him, he was pleading with the Lord, "Please take this cancer from me!" But, he heard a quiet whisper in his heart asking, What if I don't? He continued to reason, "God, you blessed me with such a great life. I have a wonderful wife and two beautiful children. You have to heal me!" But again, he heard, What if I don't? He begged, "Please, let me walk my daughter down the aisle at her wedding! Let me see my son graduate high school! Please let me grow old with my wife! Lord, please heal me!" Yet, God's soft voice kept asking, But what if I don't?

He had such a hard time dealing with the question God kept asking him. What if God didn't heal him? What if it was his time to leave this earth? What if he didn't get to be there for his family much longer? He stayed on that beach for a long time bartering with God, but he kept hearing, What if I don't heal you? What then? It was on that beach, a newly diagnosed cancer patient with a long road of treatment ahead of him, that he realized this: Even if God doesn't heal me, even if I am called to endure and maybe even miss out on certain things in this earthly life, even if my prayer isn't answered the way I want it to be, He is still worthy of my praise. He is still almighty, holy, precious, and good.

The lyrics to How He Loves and the speaker's testimony that weekend will stay with me forever. No matter what, God is good, and he loves us so very much.

"Fig trees may not grow figs, and there may be no grapes on the vines. There may be no olives growing and no food growing in the fields. There may be no sheep in the pens and no cattle in the barns. But I will still be glad in the Lord; I will rejoice in God my Savior." -Habakkuk 3:17-18