Oh, How He Loves Us

"He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath
The weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these
Afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize how beautiful you are
And how great your afflictions for me

Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so

Yea He loves us
Oh how

We are his portion
And he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meats earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart burns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us

Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so

Yea He loves us
Oh how

I thought about you
The day Stephen died
And you met me between my breaking
I know that I still love you God
Despite the agony
See people they want to tell me your cruel
But if Stephen could sing
He'd say its not true
Cause you're good"

This is such a beautiful song originally written and performed by John Mark McMillan after his best friend, Stephen, died in a tragic car accident. This song has such raw emotion and truth in it. I am swept off my feet every time I hear it, especially when I consider the things he was going through when he wrote it. Since the song's release in September of 2008, it has been re-made by several artists including David Crowder* Band and The Glorious Unseen. I was first introduced to How He Loves during DNOW back in April. It is definitely the song I associate with that incredible weekend. Since then it has kept finding its way back into my life, and tonight was one of those nights.

At DNOW, the speaker was sharing with us when he was diagnosed with cancer. It was right before a family vacation to the beach. He didn't want the cancer to prevent him from living his life, so they packed up the car and headed to the beach anyway. While he was there, he walked down to the ocean to spend some time with God. As he was trying to make sense of what the doctor just told him, he was pleading with the Lord, "Please take this cancer from me!" But, he heard a quiet whisper in his heart asking, What if I don't? He continued to reason, "God, you blessed me with such a great life. I have a wonderful wife and two beautiful children. You have to heal me!" But again, he heard, What if I don't? He begged, "Please, let me walk my daughter down the aisle at her wedding! Let me see my son graduate high school! Please let me grow old with my wife! Lord, please heal me!" Yet, God's soft voice kept asking, But what if I don't?

He had such a hard time dealing with the question God kept asking him. What if God didn't heal him? What if it was his time to leave this earth? What if he didn't get to be there for his family much longer? He stayed on that beach for a long time bartering with God, but he kept hearing, What if I don't heal you? What then? It was on that beach, a newly diagnosed cancer patient with a long road of treatment ahead of him, that he realized this: Even if God doesn't heal me, even if I am called to endure and maybe even miss out on certain things in this earthly life, even if my prayer isn't answered the way I want it to be, He is still worthy of my praise. He is still almighty, holy, precious, and good.

The lyrics to How He Loves and the speaker's testimony that weekend will stay with me forever. No matter what, God is good, and he loves us so very much.

"Fig trees may not grow figs, and there may be no grapes on the vines. There may be no olives growing and no food growing in the fields. There may be no sheep in the pens and no cattle in the barns. But I will still be glad in the Lord; I will rejoice in God my Savior." -Habakkuk 3:17-18