It has been way too long!
It has been FOREVER since my last post, and quite a lot has changed in my life. First, I graduated from JSU with a degree in Communication - Print Journalism and a minor in English. I have moved to Florida and started my dream job as a youth pastor. I have been working at my church four about a year and a half, and I absolutely love it! This job is everything I could have ever hoped for and more. My students are so wonderful, I love my co-workers, and I finally feel like I am where I am supposed to be - which is quite a refreshing change since I didn't always feel that way about Jacksonville, especially after all my friends graduated and moved away.
I am living in a suburban town in Central Florida, and it is a great place to live. Even though Florida is in the South, it isn't the South. There are palm trees everywhere and it is hot all. the. time. Plus, it stays green year round - the leaves never change color! That part is horrible because fall is my favorite season and the changing leaves are so beautiful. But, there are lakes all over the place, and I really enjoy that. My town also has the most adorable downtown area with all kinds of little shops and restaurants, and I'm a sucker for a cute downtown - probably because it reminds me of where I grew up. The worst thing about where I currently live is that there are literally no people my age here, and those closest to my age are all married and having children. I have yet to meet one single girl in her mid twenties just living life to be friends with, so I have just thrown myself into work. It's a good thing I love it so much, or I'd probably be miserable.
I don't get to go home often at all, and I really hate that. I have missed a lot being gone. I never get to see my friends and family which has been really hard. I feel left out of everything that is happening with my loved ones, and that has been the hardest part because since I don't have any friends here, they're all I've got. I miss Georgia so much it honestly hurts if I think about it too much. I hope I get to live at home again one day.
The only thing that makes being away from home worth it is knowing that I'm doing what God has called me to do. I have felt a call to youth ministry since I was in sixth grade (that is a post for another day), and I'm happy to finally be doing what I know I'm meant to do. I have had a lot to learn, but God has been so good to me and surrounded me with a church family that is patient, loving, and so very encouraging.
As hard as it is being away from my friends and family and not having any friends here my age, I would be hard pressed to find a job that is better than the one I have. I know I have griped a bit in this post, but I honestly feel very lucky to not only have a job, but one that I love. There is no better feeling than knowing you are doing what you're supposed to be doing with your life and having a job that doesn't feel like work because you enjoy it so much.
I want to start blogging more regularly, at least once a week, so be looking for more posts to come!
Psalm 57:2
"I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me."
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Bell, Commentary, and the God who can handle our questions
I want to start off by acknowledging that this post is simply my small contribution to a discussion that is already happening. And yes, it too is commentary.
Rob Bell is my favorite author. When I was in high school, my small group read his debut work Velvet Elvis, and I have been captivated ever since. His other works, Sex God and Drops Like Stars have proven to be equally thought provoking, and his book Jesus Wants to Save Christians is one I am eager to finish. I love his fresh thinking and how his books cause me to think about things in a different way. Every time I read something he has written I can't help but think, "Hmm, I've never thought about it that way."
However, in addition to the ideas he presents, he also extends an invitation. An invitation to choose. He openly encourages us to decide for ourselves what we believe about what he has written.
In Velvet Elvis, Bell states that he doesn't want us to just believe what he has said without thinking about it first. He desires his readers to test, probe, and wrestle with what he has written because, "God has spoken, and the rest is just commentary" (Bell 87). I believe in the truth of the Bible. I believe that it is the infallible word of God that is perfect and holy. I also believe that no matter what christian artists you listen to, or what christian novels you read, or what christian speakers you enjoy - all the thoughts, songs, ideas, and sermons we hear is commentary. Whether it is Third Day or Chris Tomlin, Beth Moore or Rob Bell, John Piper or Joyce Meyer it doesn't matter. All the songs, books, and sermons we encounter are all a response to their experience with the scriptures. It's all commentary, and what makes all these outlets unique from the Bible is that we can pick and choose what we believe from what they present to us. God's Word is all or nothing. Novels, songs, and sermons aren't.
We don't have to like or even agree with every sermon we hear or every verse of every song we listen to. We can choose. We can agree with some parts of a book and not others because it is not the Word of God. It is ok to be selective.
It's no secret that Bell's new book, Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Everyone Who Ever Lived, has caused quite a stir. It has sparked a controversial discussion in the christian and non-christian communities about the fundamental belief many individuals have regarding Heaven and Hell. I always knew I would read this book, but I wanted to do some research first. I have come across countless interviews, blogs, and videos that have provided both praise and criticism for both the book and Bell, but one in particular stuck out. It was a youtube video by someone who appeared to be in his 2os. In his video he makes the claim that, "When we question God, we get into a lot of trouble." I could not disagree more.
I believe that at the core of sincere questioning is humility and courage. We all know what it can be like to have a question but be too timid or prideful to ask it, right? I know I have. So, just the simple act of questioning shows a great deal of meekness, and I think that God appreciates that. I think that God would rather have his children ask questions and know what they believe and why they believe it instead of having followers who are content to believe whatever they hear without taking the time to consider why.
What is wrong with knowing what you believe?
This discussion about Heaven and Hell that is brought up in Love Wins - why is everyone so scared to take part in it?
And this discussion that is so vibrant and humble and earnest - why is everyone turning it into an argument?
God is bigger than our questions. He can handle our discussions. In all honesty, I think they can bring Him a lot of glory. There is no question we can ask or discussion we can hold or issue we can bring up that is too much for Him. There is never anything said to which God responds, "Whoa, now. No comment."
With a humble heart, ask God questions. Wrestle with the commentaries you have encountered in songs, books, and sermons, and feel free to pick and choose what you believe from those. Seek wise, godly counsel for things you can't make sense of on your own. Take part in what is going on around you. Above all, search God's Word for answers.
So, instead of challenging you or trying to convince you to read Love Wins, I simply want to invite you to educate yourself, decide what you believe, and join in the discussion - because God can handle it.
2 Timothy 3:16
"There's nothing like the written Word of God for showing you the way to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. Every part of scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another - showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way."
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Familiar Song
I love music. I always have.
Everyone has habits when it comes to music, and this is one of mine. I will find a song that I like and then download every single song by that artist that I can get my hands on whether I know it or not. I put everything on my iPod, but for a while I only listen to the one song that I already knew. I don't know why, but that is just how I do things. Sometimes, though, I will put my iPod on shuffle and just let it go. That is how I came across "Familiar Song" by Isa.
My love affair with Isa's music began with the raw recording of her song "Rend the Heavens." One listen to that song and I bought the entire album without ever having heard any of her other music. I have listened to a few other tracks from that record, but I never listened to "Familiar Song" until tonight. I was in my car on the way back from a sorority event and this song caught me completely off guard. The lyrics describe my heart's condition right now so perfectly that I cannot seem to hear them enough. All the feelings I could not seem to put into words, this song details beautifully.
Below are the lyrics to "Familiar Song" by Isa. It is a short little song at only a bit over two minutes, but well worth the listen.
"In the night as I lie awake and tears flow down my face, I think of you - I dream of you. Of how I long - how I long to see your face. I seek you, Lord. I have need of you. Nothing to give - what else can I do? I so thirst, thirst for you. My heart yearns for you, my love. My love."
I cannot find a link to this song anywhere on the internet. My only advice is to go to iTunes RIGHT NOW and buy it. You won't regret it.
"God, you are my God. I search for you. I thirst for you like someone in a dry, empty land where there is no water" -Psalm 63:1
Everyone has habits when it comes to music, and this is one of mine. I will find a song that I like and then download every single song by that artist that I can get my hands on whether I know it or not. I put everything on my iPod, but for a while I only listen to the one song that I already knew. I don't know why, but that is just how I do things. Sometimes, though, I will put my iPod on shuffle and just let it go. That is how I came across "Familiar Song" by Isa.
My love affair with Isa's music began with the raw recording of her song "Rend the Heavens." One listen to that song and I bought the entire album without ever having heard any of her other music. I have listened to a few other tracks from that record, but I never listened to "Familiar Song" until tonight. I was in my car on the way back from a sorority event and this song caught me completely off guard. The lyrics describe my heart's condition right now so perfectly that I cannot seem to hear them enough. All the feelings I could not seem to put into words, this song details beautifully.
Below are the lyrics to "Familiar Song" by Isa. It is a short little song at only a bit over two minutes, but well worth the listen.
"In the night as I lie awake and tears flow down my face, I think of you - I dream of you. Of how I long - how I long to see your face. I seek you, Lord. I have need of you. Nothing to give - what else can I do? I so thirst, thirst for you. My heart yearns for you, my love. My love."
I cannot find a link to this song anywhere on the internet. My only advice is to go to iTunes RIGHT NOW and buy it. You won't regret it.
"God, you are my God. I search for you. I thirst for you like someone in a dry, empty land where there is no water" -Psalm 63:1
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Voluntary Brokenness
I have felt detached for so long, and it is all rising to the surface now with the force and fury of a tidal wave.
I am, unfortunately, the type of person who does not deal with emotions very well. I have difficulty processing them. I have not always been like this. In fact, I used to be a rather emotional person. I cried, I felt happiness, I felt sadness - I felt, period. My college years have been wracked with what seems to be a bombardment of trials and hurt, and it was emotionally draining. As a result, I developed the ability to disregard all emotions as a defense mechanism because it is easier to simply push emotions to the side and ignore them rather than look them in the eye. I got pretty good at it, too.
Over time, I grew this tough exterior shell around my heart to protect me from my emotions. I initially just wanted protection from things like hurt and disappointment. However, I eventually lost the capacity to feel anything at all. So, while I succeeded in losing my ability to feel negative emotions, I ended up with more than I bargained for because I also lost the ability to feel positive emotions. Things like happiness, anticipation, and love. I became hollow. Like the Tin Man, I was without a heart - minus the squeaky limbs.
So, the question becomes: why would anyone do this to them self? Well, when you deal with things, you have to come face to face with all your junk. That is one of the scariest and most painful things we as humans have to do. Sometimes owning up to things causes us to look back on moments in our life that we are ashamed of so we can forgive ourselves. Sometimes it compels us to re-open wounds we thought were closed years ago in order to truly heal. Other times it forces us to face all the rejection, heartache, betrayal, and loss we have ever encountered so we can acknowledge our pain and move on. Emotions don't go away when they are ignored. In fact, more often than not it only makes them worse.
This is a lesson I have learned the hard way. Now, I am bringing all my emotions to the surface, and it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am so tempted to just keep them locked away, but I know I have to deal with all the negative in order to experience the positive.
There is no way I could face all these things alone, but luckily I don't have to. My God is good, and I know He will see me through - I just have to let Him. He has been patiently waiting for me to come to Him for help, and while I am still hesitant and scared, He is confident and capable. All I have to do is rest and relax in His control. Oh, how He loves!
"Therefore, He is able, once and forever, to save those who come to God through Him. He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf." -Hebrews 7:25
I am, unfortunately, the type of person who does not deal with emotions very well. I have difficulty processing them. I have not always been like this. In fact, I used to be a rather emotional person. I cried, I felt happiness, I felt sadness - I felt, period. My college years have been wracked with what seems to be a bombardment of trials and hurt, and it was emotionally draining. As a result, I developed the ability to disregard all emotions as a defense mechanism because it is easier to simply push emotions to the side and ignore them rather than look them in the eye. I got pretty good at it, too.
Over time, I grew this tough exterior shell around my heart to protect me from my emotions. I initially just wanted protection from things like hurt and disappointment. However, I eventually lost the capacity to feel anything at all. So, while I succeeded in losing my ability to feel negative emotions, I ended up with more than I bargained for because I also lost the ability to feel positive emotions. Things like happiness, anticipation, and love. I became hollow. Like the Tin Man, I was without a heart - minus the squeaky limbs.
So, the question becomes: why would anyone do this to them self? Well, when you deal with things, you have to come face to face with all your junk. That is one of the scariest and most painful things we as humans have to do. Sometimes owning up to things causes us to look back on moments in our life that we are ashamed of so we can forgive ourselves. Sometimes it compels us to re-open wounds we thought were closed years ago in order to truly heal. Other times it forces us to face all the rejection, heartache, betrayal, and loss we have ever encountered so we can acknowledge our pain and move on. Emotions don't go away when they are ignored. In fact, more often than not it only makes them worse.
This is a lesson I have learned the hard way. Now, I am bringing all my emotions to the surface, and it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am so tempted to just keep them locked away, but I know I have to deal with all the negative in order to experience the positive.
There is no way I could face all these things alone, but luckily I don't have to. My God is good, and I know He will see me through - I just have to let Him. He has been patiently waiting for me to come to Him for help, and while I am still hesitant and scared, He is confident and capable. All I have to do is rest and relax in His control. Oh, how He loves!
"Therefore, He is able, once and forever, to save those who come to God through Him. He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf." -Hebrews 7:25
Sunday, December 5, 2010
The prayer of my heart
XIV.
By John Donne
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
A Long Time Coming
"Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You
You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near."
I am in a funk, and I have been for a while.
As I sit on my bed writing this post I am having trouble getting started. My heart feels very far away. Writing has always helped me find my way back to where I should be, so I decided to give it a go.
I wonder how my life got to this point. Last summer I was on fire. I mean, I was thriving in the Word and in the Lord. Now, I feel distant, and I am having a hard time getting back to Him. I have a serious wall up, and I have no idea how to even begin tearing it down.
The lyrics at the beginning of the post are to a song you probably already know called "Draw Me Close to You." I so appreciate the truth of those lyrics. I need to be reminded that the Lord is supreme. He is steadfast, loving, jealous, faithful, and eagerly waiting for me to return.
A friend shared an incredible youtube video with me not long ago featuring a man named Brennan Manning. In the video he begins speaking about things that the Lord has taught him "in the 48 years since he was first ambushed by Jesus." He says that he believes that when we stand before God at Judgment He is going to ask us this one question: "Did you believe that I loved you? That I desired you. That I waited for you day after day. That I longed to hear the sound of your voice." He goes on to say that some people will be able to stand before Him and say, "Yes, Lord. I believe those things." But, he continues, others will have to stand before the Lord God Almighty and answer: "Well, no sir. I mean, I heard a lot of lovely sermons about your love, and in fact, I gave a few myself. But, I was never truly able to believe it."
At this point I find myself leaning toward the latter response. I know He loves me, but it is so hard to believe sometimes. I am filthy and undeserving and fickle and unreliable. Yet I am forgiven and precious and loved and desired and a treasure in His eyes. A love like that is so foreign and completely ridiculous in the world's terms, but it is a love and relationship that humans were created to long for, and as the song says, "You are my desire / no one else will do." What beauty and truth are found in those lines!
Lord, I cannot even fathom your love. Thank you for lavishing me, an undeserving sinner, with such an extravagant gift. Please "help me find a way / bring me back to You."
Man, I feel better already.
"The Lord's love never ends; His mercies never stop. They are new every morning; Lord, your loyalty is great. I say to myself, 'The Lord is mine, so I hope in Him.'" -Lamentations 3:22-24
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm Your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
'Cause nothing else could take Your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way
Bring me back to You
You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know You are near."
I am in a funk, and I have been for a while.
As I sit on my bed writing this post I am having trouble getting started. My heart feels very far away. Writing has always helped me find my way back to where I should be, so I decided to give it a go.
I wonder how my life got to this point. Last summer I was on fire. I mean, I was thriving in the Word and in the Lord. Now, I feel distant, and I am having a hard time getting back to Him. I have a serious wall up, and I have no idea how to even begin tearing it down.
The lyrics at the beginning of the post are to a song you probably already know called "Draw Me Close to You." I so appreciate the truth of those lyrics. I need to be reminded that the Lord is supreme. He is steadfast, loving, jealous, faithful, and eagerly waiting for me to return.
A friend shared an incredible youtube video with me not long ago featuring a man named Brennan Manning. In the video he begins speaking about things that the Lord has taught him "in the 48 years since he was first ambushed by Jesus." He says that he believes that when we stand before God at Judgment He is going to ask us this one question: "Did you believe that I loved you? That I desired you. That I waited for you day after day. That I longed to hear the sound of your voice." He goes on to say that some people will be able to stand before Him and say, "Yes, Lord. I believe those things." But, he continues, others will have to stand before the Lord God Almighty and answer: "Well, no sir. I mean, I heard a lot of lovely sermons about your love, and in fact, I gave a few myself. But, I was never truly able to believe it."
At this point I find myself leaning toward the latter response. I know He loves me, but it is so hard to believe sometimes. I am filthy and undeserving and fickle and unreliable. Yet I am forgiven and precious and loved and desired and a treasure in His eyes. A love like that is so foreign and completely ridiculous in the world's terms, but it is a love and relationship that humans were created to long for, and as the song says, "You are my desire / no one else will do." What beauty and truth are found in those lines!
Lord, I cannot even fathom your love. Thank you for lavishing me, an undeserving sinner, with such an extravagant gift. Please "help me find a way / bring me back to You."
Man, I feel better already.
"The Lord's love never ends; His mercies never stop. They are new every morning; Lord, your loyalty is great. I say to myself, 'The Lord is mine, so I hope in Him.'" -Lamentations 3:22-24
Sunday, January 24, 2010
It All Started With a Movie...
I never thought a Lifetime movie would ever generate a blog post...
Today my roommate, friend, and I all watched The Pregnancy Pact. Talk about wild. That movie deals with a lot of serious issues. Every commercial we would press pause and discuss topics like abortion, contraceptive, parent involvement, media boundaries, adolescent desires--you name it, we talked about it. It was a pretty intense movie. However, the scene that really got to me was at the very end of the movie, and it lasted about 5 seconds. You see one of the pregnant teens sitting in the school courtyard, and the father of her child walks up from behind. Only, he passes her by. He is actually walking to meet his new girlfriend who is sitting on an adjacent bench. That scene was heart wrenching. It was the most painful part of the entire movie.
After that scene I just wanted to curl into a ball and cry. I remember being 15 thinking I was going to marry my high school boyfriend. I remember the feeling I got in my stomach every time I heard something about him and his new girlfriend. I remember coming across old photos of us and being reminded that there was a time when he loved me, too. I remember everything.
But this post isn't just about me because everyone has a story.
Last night I was at work, and I ended up having two deep conversations with two different customers. One was a 55 year old man. He comes in with his family for dinner quite often, but this time he was alone. After I served him his dinner he began telling me about his life and family. His two oldest children received full scholarships to college, and in an effort to help his youngest achieve his dream of playing college baseball, transferred from a private to public high school his senior year. And apparently, that took quite a toll on them both. Not everyone understood their decision, and as a result they both lost a lot of friends. People they thought they could count on ended up letting them down. So, as a 55 year old man and a 18 year old senior in high school, they are both having to start over. You don't think of having to pick up and start new at either time in life. However, his son was voted team captain, and the new school has welcomed him and his family with open arms. It hasn't turned out so bad after all.
Another was a woman who I guess was in her mid to late 50's as well. She made a to-go order, and waited at the bar until it was ready. While she waited she began asking me about school and what I wanted to do after graduation. I told her that my major is Print Journalism, and that I have a lot of things on my bucket list. I began telling her how I wanted to be a youth pastor, how I would love to be a writer, how I might even like to be a professor one day. Then she began telling me about her life. She was a stay at home mom for 20 years until her husband passed away, leaving her without a spouse, her children without a father, and their family without a source of income. During a time when her and her husband should be sending their children off to college and happily preparing themselves for life with just the two of them, she is having to find a way to make ends meet alone. So, she goes back to school. It must have been scary to enter a classroom again so much later in life, but she did. And she graduated. She is now working in the art department at JSU, and loving it!
My heartbreak and rebuilding is so much a part of my life and my story. It has played a major role in shaping who I am, for better and for worse. There are times when it seems like I will never again endure anything that will impact me so much. Sometimes I feel like no one else has had such a life changing experience as mine, and it is in those moments that I am convicted of my own self-centeredness. All too often I buy in to my own personal fable, but at that time I have to take a step back from myself and consider the countless others who have something powerful to say. The two people I met last night proved that to me.
We were created so that with God, nothing is too big to overcome. Life can seems like a war that is impossible to win, but it isn't. Our hearts get hurt, we lose friends and loved ones, and sometimes we have to pick up the pieces of something that shouldn't even be broken in the first place. But what I've learned is that pain is ok. More times than not it's good. Life can be hard, confusing, and hurtful, but, as believers, we have already won!
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world." -John 16:33
Today my roommate, friend, and I all watched The Pregnancy Pact. Talk about wild. That movie deals with a lot of serious issues. Every commercial we would press pause and discuss topics like abortion, contraceptive, parent involvement, media boundaries, adolescent desires--you name it, we talked about it. It was a pretty intense movie. However, the scene that really got to me was at the very end of the movie, and it lasted about 5 seconds. You see one of the pregnant teens sitting in the school courtyard, and the father of her child walks up from behind. Only, he passes her by. He is actually walking to meet his new girlfriend who is sitting on an adjacent bench. That scene was heart wrenching. It was the most painful part of the entire movie.
After that scene I just wanted to curl into a ball and cry. I remember being 15 thinking I was going to marry my high school boyfriend. I remember the feeling I got in my stomach every time I heard something about him and his new girlfriend. I remember coming across old photos of us and being reminded that there was a time when he loved me, too. I remember everything.
But this post isn't just about me because everyone has a story.
Last night I was at work, and I ended up having two deep conversations with two different customers. One was a 55 year old man. He comes in with his family for dinner quite often, but this time he was alone. After I served him his dinner he began telling me about his life and family. His two oldest children received full scholarships to college, and in an effort to help his youngest achieve his dream of playing college baseball, transferred from a private to public high school his senior year. And apparently, that took quite a toll on them both. Not everyone understood their decision, and as a result they both lost a lot of friends. People they thought they could count on ended up letting them down. So, as a 55 year old man and a 18 year old senior in high school, they are both having to start over. You don't think of having to pick up and start new at either time in life. However, his son was voted team captain, and the new school has welcomed him and his family with open arms. It hasn't turned out so bad after all.
Another was a woman who I guess was in her mid to late 50's as well. She made a to-go order, and waited at the bar until it was ready. While she waited she began asking me about school and what I wanted to do after graduation. I told her that my major is Print Journalism, and that I have a lot of things on my bucket list. I began telling her how I wanted to be a youth pastor, how I would love to be a writer, how I might even like to be a professor one day. Then she began telling me about her life. She was a stay at home mom for 20 years until her husband passed away, leaving her without a spouse, her children without a father, and their family without a source of income. During a time when her and her husband should be sending their children off to college and happily preparing themselves for life with just the two of them, she is having to find a way to make ends meet alone. So, she goes back to school. It must have been scary to enter a classroom again so much later in life, but she did. And she graduated. She is now working in the art department at JSU, and loving it!
My heartbreak and rebuilding is so much a part of my life and my story. It has played a major role in shaping who I am, for better and for worse. There are times when it seems like I will never again endure anything that will impact me so much. Sometimes I feel like no one else has had such a life changing experience as mine, and it is in those moments that I am convicted of my own self-centeredness. All too often I buy in to my own personal fable, but at that time I have to take a step back from myself and consider the countless others who have something powerful to say. The two people I met last night proved that to me.
We were created so that with God, nothing is too big to overcome. Life can seems like a war that is impossible to win, but it isn't. Our hearts get hurt, we lose friends and loved ones, and sometimes we have to pick up the pieces of something that shouldn't even be broken in the first place. But what I've learned is that pain is ok. More times than not it's good. Life can be hard, confusing, and hurtful, but, as believers, we have already won!
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world." -John 16:33
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Nugs
There are few things in life I love more than a good nug. What is a nug? It is short for the word nugget, and a term my college friends and I use when we find a good scripture or quote. Whenever we would find one we would tell each other that we had a nugget for everyone, and over time it got shortened to nug. Here are a few nugs for everyone: :)
"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
-C.S. Lewis
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:13
"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good."
Romans 12:9
"If you want to know what's real, get to know God."
-Revolve Devotional Bible
"Anyone who trusts in him will never be disappointed."
Romans 10:11
"Let all that you do be done with love."
1 Corinthians 16:14
"Do you want to be romanced? You long for someone to acknowledge your inner and outer beauty, to send you flowers and love notes, to prove to you that you're worthy of love. You hope that someday Prince Charming will sweep you off your feet and take you to 'Happily Ever After.' God is romancing you. Day and night, he pursues you, demonstrating his love for you. You want flowers? He created them. Love letters? Read his word. To know you're worthy of love? He sent Jesus to die so you could live happily ever after with him. In more ways than you can imagine, God is tell you that he loves you. Don't miss out!"
-Revolve Devotional Bible
"You will teach me how to live a holy life. Being with you will fill me with joy; at your right hand I will find pleasure forever."
Psalm 16:11
"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or my not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."
Matthew 6:34
"The greatest knowledge we can ever have is knowing God treasures us."
-Francis Chan, Crazy Love
"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
-C.S. Lewis
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:13
"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good."
Romans 12:9
"If you want to know what's real, get to know God."
-Revolve Devotional Bible
"Anyone who trusts in him will never be disappointed."
Romans 10:11
"Let all that you do be done with love."
1 Corinthians 16:14
"Do you want to be romanced? You long for someone to acknowledge your inner and outer beauty, to send you flowers and love notes, to prove to you that you're worthy of love. You hope that someday Prince Charming will sweep you off your feet and take you to 'Happily Ever After.' God is romancing you. Day and night, he pursues you, demonstrating his love for you. You want flowers? He created them. Love letters? Read his word. To know you're worthy of love? He sent Jesus to die so you could live happily ever after with him. In more ways than you can imagine, God is tell you that he loves you. Don't miss out!"
-Revolve Devotional Bible
"You will teach me how to live a holy life. Being with you will fill me with joy; at your right hand I will find pleasure forever."
Psalm 16:11
"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or my not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."
Matthew 6:34
"The greatest knowledge we can ever have is knowing God treasures us."
-Francis Chan, Crazy Love
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Plans
I didn't know who I was supposed to be...at fifteen.
Don't make fun, but Fifteen by Taylor Swift gets me every time. Sometimes I swear she sings about my life. When I was a teenager I was in such a different place than I am now. If someone would have asked me then what my life would look like now I would have told them I was going to go to Berry, become a teacher, and marry my high school boyfriend. I had my life all planned out for myself, and I was comfortable.
My world came crashing down on January 16th 2007 when the love of my life broke up with me over the phone after 3 years of dating. It is now 2009, and almost 3 years later I can still vividly recall the heartbreak like it was yesterday. Being on the phone with him that night was surreal. It was like I was watching this break up scene transpire between someone else, and I was just watching it all happen. It was an out of body experience. I remember sitting on a chair next to my parent's bed thinking that I would never be ok again. The only word I can think to somewhat describe how I felt is despair. Food lost its taste, music became dull, and eventually everything that I had once found pleasing became boring and sad. I was so broken, and I had no idea where to begin picking up the pieces.
Robert Frost once said, "In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on." My life went on after January 16th. It was the second semester of my senior year and it was time to decide what college I was going to attend. I hadn't given college much thought until my junior year when an older friend of mine told me she was going to Berry College in Rome, GA. I had never heard of Berry before in my life, but listening to her tell me all about it got me interested. I went to visit her one weekend and fell in love. Berry was everything I could have hoped for in a college and more. The campus was beautiful, the people were friendly, and it was 2 and a half hours away from anything that remotely reminded me of the person who broke my heart. I filled out the application for admission the next week. A majority of students applying for college will, in addition to applying to their first choice school, apply to a safety school. Mine was Jacksonville State University in Jacksonville, AL. I got my acceptance letter from JSU in the mail in October of 2006, and my acceptance notification online from Berry in late January of 2007. It was a no brainer that I was going to Berry, until I got another letter in the mail from JSU in February. The university awarded me a scholarship that would pay for my tuition. After talking to my parents and going on a campus visit, my plans changed again when I enrolled as a student at JSU. If someone would have told me earlier that year that I would be giving up going to my dream school to attend my safety school I would have thought they were crazy. Turns out it's just life that's crazy.
In August 2007, when I should have been moving to Rome, I was moving to Jacksonville. Even though my high school sweetheart and I were over and I was enrolled at JSU instead of Berry, I still knew I was going to be a teacher one day. I had always felt a calling to ministry, but I never knew what opportunities that had, so I figured teaching would be a good alternative that I would really enjoy. However, the more I learned about teaching the more I realized I did not want any part of it. Lesson plans were boring, creating activities was a pain, I discovered that if I majored in education I would be spending my life doing something I hated, and I could not stand to live like that. Five majors later I decided on English, and after obtaining my undergrad I hope to become a youth pastor and possibly go to seminary.
My best friend told me last night that God laughs at plans. My life is the perfect example of that sentiment. When I was fifteen I had it all planned out, but God had something different in mind. Now, my life could not be more different than what I thought it would be back then. Everything got turned upside down, and it was hard to accept. I spent a lot of time being angry that my plans got messed with instead of embracing God's changes. Everyday I am seeing Him execute His plan for me in my life, and while sometimes it is still painful, I know the ending will be better than anything I could have ever planned for myself.
"Lord, I know that our lives don't really belong to us. We don't have what it takes to take charge of life. So correct us, God, as you see best." -Jeremiah 10:23-24
Don't make fun, but Fifteen by Taylor Swift gets me every time. Sometimes I swear she sings about my life. When I was a teenager I was in such a different place than I am now. If someone would have asked me then what my life would look like now I would have told them I was going to go to Berry, become a teacher, and marry my high school boyfriend. I had my life all planned out for myself, and I was comfortable.
My world came crashing down on January 16th 2007 when the love of my life broke up with me over the phone after 3 years of dating. It is now 2009, and almost 3 years later I can still vividly recall the heartbreak like it was yesterday. Being on the phone with him that night was surreal. It was like I was watching this break up scene transpire between someone else, and I was just watching it all happen. It was an out of body experience. I remember sitting on a chair next to my parent's bed thinking that I would never be ok again. The only word I can think to somewhat describe how I felt is despair. Food lost its taste, music became dull, and eventually everything that I had once found pleasing became boring and sad. I was so broken, and I had no idea where to begin picking up the pieces.
Robert Frost once said, "In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on." My life went on after January 16th. It was the second semester of my senior year and it was time to decide what college I was going to attend. I hadn't given college much thought until my junior year when an older friend of mine told me she was going to Berry College in Rome, GA. I had never heard of Berry before in my life, but listening to her tell me all about it got me interested. I went to visit her one weekend and fell in love. Berry was everything I could have hoped for in a college and more. The campus was beautiful, the people were friendly, and it was 2 and a half hours away from anything that remotely reminded me of the person who broke my heart. I filled out the application for admission the next week. A majority of students applying for college will, in addition to applying to their first choice school, apply to a safety school. Mine was Jacksonville State University in Jacksonville, AL. I got my acceptance letter from JSU in the mail in October of 2006, and my acceptance notification online from Berry in late January of 2007. It was a no brainer that I was going to Berry, until I got another letter in the mail from JSU in February. The university awarded me a scholarship that would pay for my tuition. After talking to my parents and going on a campus visit, my plans changed again when I enrolled as a student at JSU. If someone would have told me earlier that year that I would be giving up going to my dream school to attend my safety school I would have thought they were crazy. Turns out it's just life that's crazy.
In August 2007, when I should have been moving to Rome, I was moving to Jacksonville. Even though my high school sweetheart and I were over and I was enrolled at JSU instead of Berry, I still knew I was going to be a teacher one day. I had always felt a calling to ministry, but I never knew what opportunities that had, so I figured teaching would be a good alternative that I would really enjoy. However, the more I learned about teaching the more I realized I did not want any part of it. Lesson plans were boring, creating activities was a pain, I discovered that if I majored in education I would be spending my life doing something I hated, and I could not stand to live like that. Five majors later I decided on English, and after obtaining my undergrad I hope to become a youth pastor and possibly go to seminary.
My best friend told me last night that God laughs at plans. My life is the perfect example of that sentiment. When I was fifteen I had it all planned out, but God had something different in mind. Now, my life could not be more different than what I thought it would be back then. Everything got turned upside down, and it was hard to accept. I spent a lot of time being angry that my plans got messed with instead of embracing God's changes. Everyday I am seeing Him execute His plan for me in my life, and while sometimes it is still painful, I know the ending will be better than anything I could have ever planned for myself.
"Lord, I know that our lives don't really belong to us. We don't have what it takes to take charge of life. So correct us, God, as you see best." -Jeremiah 10:23-24
Sunday, December 6, 2009
R & B
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but my friends really are superior to everybody elses.
I have two very close friends from high school. One I met my sophomore year at the very first basketball practice at a local high school when we both transferred to Mill Creek from two different schools. We realized that we had a few mutual friends, and from then on we became friends. We went on vacations together, attended small group together, played basketball together, and really got to know each other. One thing I learned about her was that she had absolutely no interest in any of the guys from our high school. She knew exactly what she wanted in a guy, and she wasn't going to settle. She would tell our small group the things she desired in a boyfriend, and we all joked that we couldn't wait to meet the man she was going to marry because we didn't think a guy that perfect existed! We graduated high school, went to college, and one day during our sophomore year I logged on to Facebook and learned that she was in a relationship. I could not believe it! I quickly sent her a private message hoping to learn more about this guy. She told me all about him, and I was so excited for her. She sounded so happy, and he sounded great! Then, in mid September I get a text message from her, and it is a picture of a ring. She got engaged! She was the first one of us from high school to get engaged. I haven't met her fiance yet, but from what I've been told he is an amazing man. Not to mention he is a lucky man to be engaged to one of the most beautiful, sincere, kind, and true friends I have ever had. I could not be more happy for her!
Now, there is another friend I have from high school. I did not like her at all, and the feeling was mutual. I thought she was the meanest girl I had ever met, and she thought I was the most annoying person on the planet. We met playing basketball our freshman year, and later transferred to Mill Creek our sophomore year. However, it wasn't until our senior year when we became best friends. I am not going to divulge the details on how we became friends because it is super lame, but literally one day we decided we were going to become "attached at the hip", and we have been ever since. I have never had a friend like her before. She is ultra smart, so gorgeous, really goofy, and, to top it off, the most honest person I have ever known. When we went to college she was at the end of a pretty serious relationship, but it wasn't long after the semester began that she met someone. One Thursday night she invited me to her sorority's formal, and even though our colleges are two hours away I hopped in the car and drove to see her. While we were getting ready she was telling me about a guy she met, and she told me that we were going to hang out with him later that night. After the formal (which was so fun, by the way) we stepped outside the house and there he was, walking down the street to meet us. I remember how excited she was to see him. The rest of the night we spent hanging out with each other laughing and just having a great time. They began dating, and as my friendship with my best friend grew, so did my friendship with him, and he is an awesome guy. A few weeks ago I got a text message from my friend telling me that she just picked out an engagement ring. She is not engaged yet, but I have a feeling she will be soon. Talk about pumped! I cannot believe my best friend is about to get engaged, but I am so super thrilled for her!
I am so thankful for these two girls that God has placed in my life and for the men that God has placed in theirs. I hope you girls know how much I love you and how excited I am for you as your lives continue forward. I know you won't be getting married for a while, but I am still so happy for you and I cannot wait to watch you walk down the aisle. :)
"My dear, dear friends! I love you so much. I do want the very best for you. You make me feel such joy, fill me with such pride." -Philippians 4:1
I have two very close friends from high school. One I met my sophomore year at the very first basketball practice at a local high school when we both transferred to Mill Creek from two different schools. We realized that we had a few mutual friends, and from then on we became friends. We went on vacations together, attended small group together, played basketball together, and really got to know each other. One thing I learned about her was that she had absolutely no interest in any of the guys from our high school. She knew exactly what she wanted in a guy, and she wasn't going to settle. She would tell our small group the things she desired in a boyfriend, and we all joked that we couldn't wait to meet the man she was going to marry because we didn't think a guy that perfect existed! We graduated high school, went to college, and one day during our sophomore year I logged on to Facebook and learned that she was in a relationship. I could not believe it! I quickly sent her a private message hoping to learn more about this guy. She told me all about him, and I was so excited for her. She sounded so happy, and he sounded great! Then, in mid September I get a text message from her, and it is a picture of a ring. She got engaged! She was the first one of us from high school to get engaged. I haven't met her fiance yet, but from what I've been told he is an amazing man. Not to mention he is a lucky man to be engaged to one of the most beautiful, sincere, kind, and true friends I have ever had. I could not be more happy for her!
Now, there is another friend I have from high school. I did not like her at all, and the feeling was mutual. I thought she was the meanest girl I had ever met, and she thought I was the most annoying person on the planet. We met playing basketball our freshman year, and later transferred to Mill Creek our sophomore year. However, it wasn't until our senior year when we became best friends. I am not going to divulge the details on how we became friends because it is super lame, but literally one day we decided we were going to become "attached at the hip", and we have been ever since. I have never had a friend like her before. She is ultra smart, so gorgeous, really goofy, and, to top it off, the most honest person I have ever known. When we went to college she was at the end of a pretty serious relationship, but it wasn't long after the semester began that she met someone. One Thursday night she invited me to her sorority's formal, and even though our colleges are two hours away I hopped in the car and drove to see her. While we were getting ready she was telling me about a guy she met, and she told me that we were going to hang out with him later that night. After the formal (which was so fun, by the way) we stepped outside the house and there he was, walking down the street to meet us. I remember how excited she was to see him. The rest of the night we spent hanging out with each other laughing and just having a great time. They began dating, and as my friendship with my best friend grew, so did my friendship with him, and he is an awesome guy. A few weeks ago I got a text message from my friend telling me that she just picked out an engagement ring. She is not engaged yet, but I have a feeling she will be soon. Talk about pumped! I cannot believe my best friend is about to get engaged, but I am so super thrilled for her!
I am so thankful for these two girls that God has placed in my life and for the men that God has placed in theirs. I hope you girls know how much I love you and how excited I am for you as your lives continue forward. I know you won't be getting married for a while, but I am still so happy for you and I cannot wait to watch you walk down the aisle. :)
"My dear, dear friends! I love you so much. I do want the very best for you. You make me feel such joy, fill me with such pride." -Philippians 4:1
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Soon
I know it has been a while since I've written a decent post, but my heart is too full to write anything too long tonight. It is incredible how present God is and how quickly he responds to those who call on Him. I'm hoping for a hearty post on Saturday. I have a lot to write on an incredible Comforter.
"My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Psalm 73:26
"My flesh and my heart fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Psalm 73:26
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Made For You by Matt Gilman
http://www.myspace.com/mattgilmanmusic (click on "Made for You")
This is such a beautiful song. I hope you will take time to consider what these lyrics are telling you about your purpose. This is why we were created: To simply abide in Him. To walk with Him daily. To appreciate all He has done. To be amazed at who He is.
When we look at the simplicity of the life God has created us to lead it makes all of our outside stresses seem so unimportant. This song makes me feel so content and blessed to be created especially for God. Lord, I was made for you. :)
"If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord." -Romans 14:8
I will abide in You; oh come abide in me
For without You I can do nothing
For without You I can do nothing
Chorus:
To walk in the cool of the day with You
To gaze on the beauty of all You do
To meditate on Your glorious splendor
I was made for You
Verse 2:
On You I meditate and pray both night and day
Oh Lord, that I would be with You where You are
Oh Lord, that I would be with You where You are
Bridge:
To be called a lover of God
To speak face to face, to know all Your thoughts
To abide in Your love, in Your love in me
To keep Your commands, that I may be filled with joy
This is such a beautiful song. I hope you will take time to consider what these lyrics are telling you about your purpose. This is why we were created: To simply abide in Him. To walk with Him daily. To appreciate all He has done. To be amazed at who He is.
When we look at the simplicity of the life God has created us to lead it makes all of our outside stresses seem so unimportant. This song makes me feel so content and blessed to be created especially for God. Lord, I was made for you. :)
"If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord." -Romans 14:8
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Humility vs. Pride and Some Thoughts on Responsibility
I just need a listening ear...
I got in a car accident two Thursdays ago, and have been without a car ever since. However, life goes on. I know I am a busy person, but it dawned on me last week just how busy I am. I work, go to school, am a member of campus groups, and attend younglife. While my sweet roommates were so gracious in allowing me to borrow their cars when they weren't using them, we all lead busy lives and have things to do, and it is not their responsibility to tote me around. Sometimes I feel guilty when asking for help, like I'm being a burden, and other times it simply comes down to my selfish pride. I often take myself and my agenda too seriously, and get annoyed when I cannot do things when I want. I am the queen of making a mountain out of a mole hill. Last week was very trying. Just because I didn't have a car didn't excuse me from my commitments, but I had to miss some and now I have to face the consequences. That is a hard pill to swallow because I feel like I'm being held accountable for something I had no control over. My pride causes frustration, but I am called to rise above that. Here is a bit of insight to my prideful nature:
I like to be independent and do the things I need and want to do when I need and want to do them, and I don't like being at the mercy of others in trying to accomplish tasks. I don't like asking for rides, I don't like asking for help, heck... I don't even like working in groups on school assignments. I want to do things my way on my time. But here is the truth, when I set my pride aside I remember: it is not about me. I have to be more understanding in that there are consequences for everything that happens in life whether those things are self-inflicted or by cause of someone else. In life, we must always be willing to roll with the punches and be big enough to lay our pride down and accept responsibility when we are called to. When life gets hectic, we are faced with obstacles, and we sometimes have to accept responsibility for situations we don't want to take the blame for we must remember to be ever humble, courageous, and live in love because we serve a mighty and faithful God. Oh, how He loves us!
"But he's already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what God is looking for in men and women.
It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don't take yourself too seriously—
take God seriously." -Micah 6:8
I got in a car accident two Thursdays ago, and have been without a car ever since. However, life goes on. I know I am a busy person, but it dawned on me last week just how busy I am. I work, go to school, am a member of campus groups, and attend younglife. While my sweet roommates were so gracious in allowing me to borrow their cars when they weren't using them, we all lead busy lives and have things to do, and it is not their responsibility to tote me around. Sometimes I feel guilty when asking for help, like I'm being a burden, and other times it simply comes down to my selfish pride. I often take myself and my agenda too seriously, and get annoyed when I cannot do things when I want. I am the queen of making a mountain out of a mole hill. Last week was very trying. Just because I didn't have a car didn't excuse me from my commitments, but I had to miss some and now I have to face the consequences. That is a hard pill to swallow because I feel like I'm being held accountable for something I had no control over. My pride causes frustration, but I am called to rise above that. Here is a bit of insight to my prideful nature:
I like to be independent and do the things I need and want to do when I need and want to do them, and I don't like being at the mercy of others in trying to accomplish tasks. I don't like asking for rides, I don't like asking for help, heck... I don't even like working in groups on school assignments. I want to do things my way on my time. But here is the truth, when I set my pride aside I remember: it is not about me. I have to be more understanding in that there are consequences for everything that happens in life whether those things are self-inflicted or by cause of someone else. In life, we must always be willing to roll with the punches and be big enough to lay our pride down and accept responsibility when we are called to. When life gets hectic, we are faced with obstacles, and we sometimes have to accept responsibility for situations we don't want to take the blame for we must remember to be ever humble, courageous, and live in love because we serve a mighty and faithful God. Oh, how He loves us!
"But he's already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what God is looking for in men and women.
It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don't take yourself too seriously—
take God seriously." -Micah 6:8
Monday, September 28, 2009
Symbolism
My friend, Kane, introduced me to a new artist named Coffey Anderson. He is absolutely incredible. His music is so soulful and rich! He sings awesome love songs, and even better gospel music. That is right up my alley considering all my friends jokingly tell me that I should have been born black. :) Check him out, you might love him as much as I do.
It is finally feeling like autumn here in Jacksonville. Fall is my FAVORITE season by a long shot. I love everything about it. The crispness in the air, the excitement of college football, the anticipation of upcoming holidays, having cool weather to spend in the outdoors and, most importantly, the leaves changing colors. The colors of the leaves when they change is so beautiful to me, especially in Jacksonville. There are trees everywhere here, and being in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains isn't bad either because when I look outside I see endless mountains and trees. It is absolutely gorgeous. That being said, I think the actual reason I love fall so much is because of the symbolism it has in my life. Leave it to an English major to write a blog entirely about symbolism, but if the shoe fits...
My high school youth pastor unknowingly changed the way I will experience fall forever. Before we were dismissed from the service he always said a prayer for the upcoming week. In his prayer he said something that absolutely stopped me in my tracks. He thanked God that He created the leaves to change colors for the sole purpose of our enjoyment. I could not believe what I just heard. As I was riding in the backseat of my friend's car on my way home I looked out the window at all the trees and their leaves. They were beautiful, but I had never stopped to realize why. In school I was taught all about photosynthesis and plant processes. I knew the science behind the phenomenon of autumn leaves, but I never stopped to give credit to the Creator. When I thought more about it, I realized that God didn't have to make the process beautiful. He could have made photosynthesis boring and blah, but he didn't. He made the process pleasing to us because He loves us and wants us to enjoy this place He created for us. What a sweet Lord we have to make even the smallest detail of his creation beautiful simply out of love for us. When I see the leaves I am always reminded of God's deep love for His people and His precious lovingkindness. Everything in this life that I enjoy comes from God. Even something as simple as the leaves changing colors.
"God looked at everything He made, and it was good. So very good!" -Genesis 1:31
It is finally feeling like autumn here in Jacksonville. Fall is my FAVORITE season by a long shot. I love everything about it. The crispness in the air, the excitement of college football, the anticipation of upcoming holidays, having cool weather to spend in the outdoors and, most importantly, the leaves changing colors. The colors of the leaves when they change is so beautiful to me, especially in Jacksonville. There are trees everywhere here, and being in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains isn't bad either because when I look outside I see endless mountains and trees. It is absolutely gorgeous. That being said, I think the actual reason I love fall so much is because of the symbolism it has in my life. Leave it to an English major to write a blog entirely about symbolism, but if the shoe fits...
My high school youth pastor unknowingly changed the way I will experience fall forever. Before we were dismissed from the service he always said a prayer for the upcoming week. In his prayer he said something that absolutely stopped me in my tracks. He thanked God that He created the leaves to change colors for the sole purpose of our enjoyment. I could not believe what I just heard. As I was riding in the backseat of my friend's car on my way home I looked out the window at all the trees and their leaves. They were beautiful, but I had never stopped to realize why. In school I was taught all about photosynthesis and plant processes. I knew the science behind the phenomenon of autumn leaves, but I never stopped to give credit to the Creator. When I thought more about it, I realized that God didn't have to make the process beautiful. He could have made photosynthesis boring and blah, but he didn't. He made the process pleasing to us because He loves us and wants us to enjoy this place He created for us. What a sweet Lord we have to make even the smallest detail of his creation beautiful simply out of love for us. When I see the leaves I am always reminded of God's deep love for His people and His precious lovingkindness. Everything in this life that I enjoy comes from God. Even something as simple as the leaves changing colors.
"God looked at everything He made, and it was good. So very good!" -Genesis 1:31
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Gathering
Last Friday Jen, Anna Catherine, Erin, Ashley, and I left for the lake. Anna Catherine's family has a lake house on Lake Weiss in Centre, AL and was gracious enough to let us stay there for the weekend. We had the best time! Our first night we watched movies, went out to eat, and just spent time together laughing and enjoying ourselves. Erin had to work in the morning, so she left early the next day and headed to Jefferson's. The rest of us got up and went to the ultimate in breakfast cuisine: Waffle House. The rest of the day was spend inside due to rain, but none of us were disappointed. It was such a cozy day that allowed us to fellowship and wind down from the previous week of school. Christina came later that night, and after playing a few rounds of dominoes and other fun games I didn't think the weekend could get any better. Then Sunday came, and it was one of the most memorable days of my life.
Sunday, September 20, was my 21st birthday. When I woke up my sweet friends had made yummy blueberry muffins, put a candle in mine, and sang me happy birthday. I felt so special! It was such a great way to start the day. After breakfast we got dressed and headed to Little Rock City to have church on the mountain. Lake Weiss is located near the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains, so there are a few mountain ranges that people will come and explore. When we got there, we walked up to a series of boulders and climbed them to the top where we found a clearing overlooking the lake and surrounding area. There is no telling how high up we were, but it felt like we were on top of the world. Right there, on top of the world, we started our church service. No rules. No rituals. No denomination. Just five women seeking after the Lord, and guess what? He showed up. :)
Anna Catherine brought her iPod dock, and we spent some time in worship. "How Deep the Father's Love For Us" by Sarah Sadler came on, and it was one of the most incredible moments in my life. To listen to her sing, "How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure" while looking out on His vast creation knowing he loves me even beyond all that is in front of me still humbles and amazes me. After singing a few more songs, we got to spend some time in the Word. Ashley lead us to an account in the book of John (v. 15-19). We got to share our hearts with each other and spend some great time in prayer. Then, we shared the most beautiful thing I have ever had the privilege to be a part of. Five college women got to lead each other in communion on top of the mountain that day. I have no words for the infinite meaning that communion holds in my life. The whole experience of having church on the mountain is something I am so thankful to have been a part of. It was the best birthday I have ever had, and I am so glad to have spent it with such sweet friends and an even sweeter Lord.
"When two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there." -Matthew 18:20
Sunday, September 13, 2009
September So Far
What a great start to September.
Last weekend I go to go home and spend some time with the family. When I go back to Gwinnett I normally spend a majority of the weekend with my mom, but this time I got to spend a lot of quality time with my dad and brother. We got to go to the Georgia Tech vs. JSU football game, and our tickets were in the front row! College football and a trip to Atlanta equals an awesome Saturday in my book! I was so glad to get to share that day with my dad and little bro. I loved spending the day with them, and we had a really good time.
This weekend Jen, Eric, and I got to go down to Talahassee to see the Florida State vs. JSU football game. It was a 6 hour drive, but it was worth it. Not only did we get to go to the game and spend part of the weekend in Florida, but we got to sit in Bobby Bowden's family box! It was so cool! JSU really played a great game. We were up 9-7 all the way until the fourth quarter with only 1:31 left on the clock when FSU scored two touchdowns back to back. It was a heart breaker, but it was such an exciting game. My friend, Robert, who I met the summer I lived in Winter Haven, went to FSU, so we met up and stayed with him at his brother's house. I was so glad to be able to see him and catch up. What a sweet friend!
With the semester back in full swing, I am already busier than I have ever been. Juggling school, work, Ambassadors, Student Senate, and YoungLife is challenging, but I am excited for everything that is coming my way. There are a lot of things to get caught up in, but through all of it I want to be mindful of who I am serving and searching for Him in all I do. What an adventure He has planned for me!
"I am always doing something new within my beloved ones. Be on the lookout for all I have prepared for you." -Isaiah 43:19
Last weekend I go to go home and spend some time with the family. When I go back to Gwinnett I normally spend a majority of the weekend with my mom, but this time I got to spend a lot of quality time with my dad and brother. We got to go to the Georgia Tech vs. JSU football game, and our tickets were in the front row! College football and a trip to Atlanta equals an awesome Saturday in my book! I was so glad to get to share that day with my dad and little bro. I loved spending the day with them, and we had a really good time.
This weekend Jen, Eric, and I got to go down to Talahassee to see the Florida State vs. JSU football game. It was a 6 hour drive, but it was worth it. Not only did we get to go to the game and spend part of the weekend in Florida, but we got to sit in Bobby Bowden's family box! It was so cool! JSU really played a great game. We were up 9-7 all the way until the fourth quarter with only 1:31 left on the clock when FSU scored two touchdowns back to back. It was a heart breaker, but it was such an exciting game. My friend, Robert, who I met the summer I lived in Winter Haven, went to FSU, so we met up and stayed with him at his brother's house. I was so glad to be able to see him and catch up. What a sweet friend!
With the semester back in full swing, I am already busier than I have ever been. Juggling school, work, Ambassadors, Student Senate, and YoungLife is challenging, but I am excited for everything that is coming my way. There are a lot of things to get caught up in, but through all of it I want to be mindful of who I am serving and searching for Him in all I do. What an adventure He has planned for me!
"I am always doing something new within my beloved ones. Be on the lookout for all I have prepared for you." -Isaiah 43:19
Friday, September 11, 2009
A Thought
"Many of the most significant moments in our lives come not because it all went right but because it all fell apart." -Rob Bell: Drops Like Stars
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Oh, How He Loves Us
"He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath
The weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these
Afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize how beautiful you are
And how great your afflictions for me
Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so
Yea He loves us
Oh how
We are his portion
And he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meats earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart burns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us
Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so
Yea He loves us
Oh how
I thought about you
The day Stephen died
And you met me between my breaking
I know that I still love you God
Despite the agony
See people they want to tell me your cruel
But if Stephen could sing
He'd say its not true
Cause you're good"
This is such a beautiful song originally written and performed by John Mark McMillan after his best friend, Stephen, died in a tragic car accident. This song has such raw emotion and truth in it. I am swept off my feet every time I hear it, especially when I consider the things he was going through when he wrote it. Since the song's release in September of 2008, it has been re-made by several artists including David Crowder* Band and The Glorious Unseen. I was first introduced to How He Loves during DNOW back in April. It is definitely the song I associate with that incredible weekend. Since then it has kept finding its way back into my life, and tonight was one of those nights.
At DNOW, the speaker was sharing with us when he was diagnosed with cancer. It was right before a family vacation to the beach. He didn't want the cancer to prevent him from living his life, so they packed up the car and headed to the beach anyway. While he was there, he walked down to the ocean to spend some time with God. As he was trying to make sense of what the doctor just told him, he was pleading with the Lord, "Please take this cancer from me!" But, he heard a quiet whisper in his heart asking, What if I don't? He continued to reason, "God, you blessed me with such a great life. I have a wonderful wife and two beautiful children. You have to heal me!" But again, he heard, What if I don't? He begged, "Please, let me walk my daughter down the aisle at her wedding! Let me see my son graduate high school! Please let me grow old with my wife! Lord, please heal me!" Yet, God's soft voice kept asking, But what if I don't?
He had such a hard time dealing with the question God kept asking him. What if God didn't heal him? What if it was his time to leave this earth? What if he didn't get to be there for his family much longer? He stayed on that beach for a long time bartering with God, but he kept hearing, What if I don't heal you? What then? It was on that beach, a newly diagnosed cancer patient with a long road of treatment ahead of him, that he realized this: Even if God doesn't heal me, even if I am called to endure and maybe even miss out on certain things in this earthly life, even if my prayer isn't answered the way I want it to be, He is still worthy of my praise. He is still almighty, holy, precious, and good.
The lyrics to How He Loves and the speaker's testimony that weekend will stay with me forever. No matter what, God is good, and he loves us so very much.
"Fig trees may not grow figs, and there may be no grapes on the vines. There may be no olives growing and no food growing in the fields. There may be no sheep in the pens and no cattle in the barns. But I will still be glad in the Lord; I will rejoice in God my Savior." -Habakkuk 3:17-18
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath
The weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these
Afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize how beautiful you are
And how great your afflictions for me
Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so
Yea He loves us
Oh how
We are his portion
And he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meats earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart burns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us
Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so
Yea He loves us
Oh how
I thought about you
The day Stephen died
And you met me between my breaking
I know that I still love you God
Despite the agony
See people they want to tell me your cruel
But if Stephen could sing
He'd say its not true
Cause you're good"
This is such a beautiful song originally written and performed by John Mark McMillan after his best friend, Stephen, died in a tragic car accident. This song has such raw emotion and truth in it. I am swept off my feet every time I hear it, especially when I consider the things he was going through when he wrote it. Since the song's release in September of 2008, it has been re-made by several artists including David Crowder* Band and The Glorious Unseen. I was first introduced to How He Loves during DNOW back in April. It is definitely the song I associate with that incredible weekend. Since then it has kept finding its way back into my life, and tonight was one of those nights.
At DNOW, the speaker was sharing with us when he was diagnosed with cancer. It was right before a family vacation to the beach. He didn't want the cancer to prevent him from living his life, so they packed up the car and headed to the beach anyway. While he was there, he walked down to the ocean to spend some time with God. As he was trying to make sense of what the doctor just told him, he was pleading with the Lord, "Please take this cancer from me!" But, he heard a quiet whisper in his heart asking, What if I don't? He continued to reason, "God, you blessed me with such a great life. I have a wonderful wife and two beautiful children. You have to heal me!" But again, he heard, What if I don't? He begged, "Please, let me walk my daughter down the aisle at her wedding! Let me see my son graduate high school! Please let me grow old with my wife! Lord, please heal me!" Yet, God's soft voice kept asking, But what if I don't?
He had such a hard time dealing with the question God kept asking him. What if God didn't heal him? What if it was his time to leave this earth? What if he didn't get to be there for his family much longer? He stayed on that beach for a long time bartering with God, but he kept hearing, What if I don't heal you? What then? It was on that beach, a newly diagnosed cancer patient with a long road of treatment ahead of him, that he realized this: Even if God doesn't heal me, even if I am called to endure and maybe even miss out on certain things in this earthly life, even if my prayer isn't answered the way I want it to be, He is still worthy of my praise. He is still almighty, holy, precious, and good.
The lyrics to How He Loves and the speaker's testimony that weekend will stay with me forever. No matter what, God is good, and he loves us so very much.
"Fig trees may not grow figs, and there may be no grapes on the vines. There may be no olives growing and no food growing in the fields. There may be no sheep in the pens and no cattle in the barns. But I will still be glad in the Lord; I will rejoice in God my Savior." -Habakkuk 3:17-18
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
One Great Love
My favorite hymn in the whole world is "O, For A Thousand Tongues To Sing", David Crowder is my favorite music artist, and when those two are combined it just couldn't get any better. DCB could just re-make hymns and I wouldn't be mad about it. Here are the lyrics to David Crowder's arrangement and a link to listen to it on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWekq9bHtKU
O, for a thousand tongues to sing
My great Redeemer’s praise
The glories of my God and King
The triumphs of His grace!
My gracious Master and my God
Assist me to proclaim
To spread through all the earth abroad
The honors of Thy name.
So come on and sing out
Let our anthem grow loud
There is one great love: Jesus.
Jesus, the name that charms our fears
That bids our sorrows cease
‘Tis music in the sinner’s ears
‘Tis life and health and peace.
He breaks the power of cancelled sin
He sets the prisoners free
His blood can make the foulest clean
His blood availed for me!
He speaks and listening to His voice
New life the dead receive
The mournful broken hearts rejoice
The humble poor believe.
Glory to God and praise and love
Be ever, ever giv’n
By saints below and saints above
The church in earth and Heav’n.
So come on and sing out
Let our anthem grow loud
There is one great love: Jesus.
There are so few words
That never grow old...
There are so few words
That never grow old...
Jesus.
Today was the first day of the fall semester. It was a great day, and as I was driving home from my English class I was looking around at all the students walking into the building. It was so crowded! Most of the students appeared to be freshman, so I started having flashbacks of my freshman year. What a growing year that was. I got so lost, and it makes me wonder how the freshman years will go of the students I saw walking into the Stone Center today. There are so many things to get wrapped up in during college. Relationships, Greek life, sports, drinking, partying, class, work, you name it and it's a temptation that can draw us away from the Lord.
High school was a breeze. I had my close friends, and none of us drank or really even knew anyone who did, so drinking and partying was never an issue. I didn't have to have a job. I had a serious boyfriend, so I wasn't obsessed with dating. School has always been easy for me, and I have a great relationship with my parents, so my biggest worry for four years was remembering to do my homework assignment and occasionally picking up my room. I got so caught up in all the new things college introduced me to. I started fitting God into my life instead of building my life around Him. As I was driving toward 410 with DCB playing in the background I heard in the chorus, There is one great love: Jesus. It didn't say, There is one great love: Jesus, and going to class and maybe partying a little on the side. It says Jesus, period.
He is the only One worth living for and getting wrapped up in. Freshman year was such a hard time in my life, wrought with such pain and sorrow. But, the Lord was faithful and delivered me, and now I am thankful to Him for showing me, yet again, that there is one great love: Jesus.
"Anyone who trusts in Him will never be disappointed." -Romans 10:11
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWekq9bHtKU
O, for a thousand tongues to sing
My great Redeemer’s praise
The glories of my God and King
The triumphs of His grace!
My gracious Master and my God
Assist me to proclaim
To spread through all the earth abroad
The honors of Thy name.
So come on and sing out
Let our anthem grow loud
There is one great love: Jesus.
Jesus, the name that charms our fears
That bids our sorrows cease
‘Tis music in the sinner’s ears
‘Tis life and health and peace.
He breaks the power of cancelled sin
He sets the prisoners free
His blood can make the foulest clean
His blood availed for me!
He speaks and listening to His voice
New life the dead receive
The mournful broken hearts rejoice
The humble poor believe.
Glory to God and praise and love
Be ever, ever giv’n
By saints below and saints above
The church in earth and Heav’n.
So come on and sing out
Let our anthem grow loud
There is one great love: Jesus.
There are so few words
That never grow old...
There are so few words
That never grow old...
Jesus.
Today was the first day of the fall semester. It was a great day, and as I was driving home from my English class I was looking around at all the students walking into the building. It was so crowded! Most of the students appeared to be freshman, so I started having flashbacks of my freshman year. What a growing year that was. I got so lost, and it makes me wonder how the freshman years will go of the students I saw walking into the Stone Center today. There are so many things to get wrapped up in during college. Relationships, Greek life, sports, drinking, partying, class, work, you name it and it's a temptation that can draw us away from the Lord.
High school was a breeze. I had my close friends, and none of us drank or really even knew anyone who did, so drinking and partying was never an issue. I didn't have to have a job. I had a serious boyfriend, so I wasn't obsessed with dating. School has always been easy for me, and I have a great relationship with my parents, so my biggest worry for four years was remembering to do my homework assignment and occasionally picking up my room. I got so caught up in all the new things college introduced me to. I started fitting God into my life instead of building my life around Him. As I was driving toward 410 with DCB playing in the background I heard in the chorus, There is one great love: Jesus. It didn't say, There is one great love: Jesus, and going to class and maybe partying a little on the side. It says Jesus, period.
He is the only One worth living for and getting wrapped up in. Freshman year was such a hard time in my life, wrought with such pain and sorrow. But, the Lord was faithful and delivered me, and now I am thankful to Him for showing me, yet again, that there is one great love: Jesus.
"Anyone who trusts in Him will never be disappointed." -Romans 10:11
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